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Relationship Tips from the Experts

How is your relationship? Do you feel like you’re fighting to keep the fire burning? Are you searching for a few tips?

Howard Markman, PhD, Scott Stanley, PhD, and Susan Blumberg, PhD, the authors of Fighting for Your Marriage and Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP), suggest the following: 

Four Hallmarks of a Great Relationship: 

  • Be safe at home - physical, emotional and commitment safety 

  • Open the doors to intimacy - couple meetings, date night, positive connections, listening

  • Do your part and be responsible - use effective skills to solve problems and take ownership of your feelings and actions 

  • Nurture security in your future together - work through relationship challenges together, renew your commitment and be willing to do whatever is necessary to have a relationship that is good for both of you 

John and Julie Gottman were surprised to find that couples whose relationships continued to be strong over time were devoting only an extra five hours a week to their marriages. Those extra hours consist of small actions done regularly. 

The Five Magic Hours 

  • Spending a few minutes in the morning talking about your upcoming day 

  • Debriefing at the end of each day with a stress-reducing conversation where partners actively listen to each other review their day 

  • Finding some way to express admiration and appreciation to your partner every day

  • Showing affection toward your partner daily (John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, have a 6-second rule for kisses in their relationship - all kisses last at least six seconds.)

The little things, such as, spending time weekly really talking to each other… asking questions about your partner's hopes and dreams, plans at work or home... will help you know each other intimately and improve your relationship.

If you need further assistance we are here. Therapy can help couples to hear each other with less judgment, and heal from misunderstandings. The results of this deeply personal journey can help resolve the pain of the emotional distance. This provides emotional room to make decisions about each other and the relationship. I can help you gain new skills that will strengthen your resolve and move forward to the life of your dreams. Call today: 904-601-1026 

Jean Kerry